Well finally Tony (husband) and I back from Gran Canaria after a 19 hour delay!
Fortunately, we did not return to 18 cat shits around the house like we did when we got back from Amsterdam! Tony’s brother hadn’t realised the cat flap had somehow jammed and she’d not been going out. She pooped in the brand new fire place on top of the coals and on a tin of paint (with the handle up) – that’s when you know she must have been really cross to take such an awkward motion! She must have been squatting thinking, I’ll show those bastards.
Tony and I went to get our dog Winston from his foster carer. He was more pleased to greet us than when we got back from Mexico after 6 weeks. This time he could actually be arsed to say hello and brought me a small plastic chicken. Though when we got home the lore of the cat’s arse was much more appealing.
Willow (cat) was pleased to see us as she went out and brought us a mouse. But she’s so lazy these days, she just brought it in alive and spat it under the dining room table in a way that said, ‘you’re back then. There you go, I got you this, sort yourself out’, before gorging herself on biscuits while Tony, Winston and I chased the mouse with our selection of Tupperware/plastic Chinese boxes we keep just for this purpose. Fortunately this mouse was luckier than one I caught just before we went away, that veered to the left as it got used to the idea of having three legs.
Day before going back to work, there is only one thing to do, which actually I did after the first day back too! And that is, get your bra off, your PJs on, drink wine, whinge ‘this time yesterday I was eating paella’, oh and order unnecessary products from Amazon!
Today’s unnecessary products from Amazon to cheer myself up were:
1/ a magnifying glass because I realised how bad my eyes were on the beach last week when trying to identify if I was looking at moobs or boobs and because I spent 5 minutes calling the cat from the other side of the room and it was actually my own bra – not so bad though that I sat stroking my own cups. Since getting my magnifying glass, I no longer need to take my glasses off and read through one lens. However, Amazon now keeps saying, ‘people who brought this also brought’…and shows me pictures of shoe horns.
2/ the world’s smallest dustban and brush. So small it arrived in an A4 envelope. That’ll cheer me up. A bit of teeny, tiny sweeping.
On the day of going back to work, the dog just wouldn’t get up. He was trying to pull a sickie. He missed barging the door open and coming into the shower to try to lick my legs of soap and leg shavings with me shooing him away.
Instead, he decided to go in the spare bedroom, pull the duvet off the bed and crawl inside the cover. Check out the picture. That dog shape in a sheet is a dog in a sheet. It’s not a ghost dog.
Started my post holiday exercise regime. It is to dance everytime the Jet2holidays advert comes on. That’s it. Period.